I am celebrating one year as a father. It gives me pride and joy to share a few things that I have learnt as a father for that one year.
I am pretty aware that it is rare to see an African man, I mean real African man, airing things to do with babies openly. I am an ‘African warrior’, not of swords, rungus (clubs) and arrows but of the ‘TRUE VALUES’ that makes a man.
When I was single I always dreamt of being a father. However, I was really afraid. I mean very fearful of being unable to provide for my family. This could be a disaster for me. I felt no obligation to marry if I knew I could not provide for my family. This prompted me to work hard and study hard which got me where I am now. Check something small about me by clicking here.
Back to the serious matter and realities of being a father. Different men have different experiences once they cross the bridge to parenthood. Some dread the experiences, others cherish every passing second.
I cherish every passing second. So join me in the ship of experiences.
16 Things that I have learnt as a father.
- Joy. I have known having a baby can create exactly what I see in movies and TVs; babies create joy, happiness, togetherness and instill sense of pride.
- Member. As a father, I gained respect in the community. Other parents view me as a ‘member’, so I get chances to attend birthdays and christening events of other babies in my neighborhood (I am not living in Kenya at the moment).
- First class treatment. I get special treatment in all means of transport that I use. When flying with my son, I am given the privilege to board the plane first, I get a special, spacious seat and air hostesses go out of their way to help us with the baby during embarking and boarding. In buses, I am given a special seat (please do not ask me whether I get special treatment in a matatu). It is great to be a father.
- Responsibility. I am more responsible. Never leave the baby with someone you do not trust. One day, I saw a friend trying to give my son beer when he was 10 months old.I had to yell and shout at her. Shame on her!
- Sleepless nights. Babies can wake you up at ungodly hours of the night. Instead of firing fire works, the turn of 2010 came while I was in hospital. This is not something to regret about. It was a unique way of ushering in 2010.
- Cut a corner. I used to hear Meru women sing that ‘a baby can make you negotiate a corner’, I understand the deeper meaning of that statement now. A baby can make you do some wonderful, silly but funny things. I know all toy shops in my town as well as their opening and closing times. By the way, as a father I know it is not wise to buy toys during Christmas. They are damned expensive. Plan well, buy them after the festive season (they are cheaper by far) and store them. Also avoid buying computer games and videos when they debut into the market. Wait for the price to subside.
- Parents first. If I go to a party where we need to queue for food or something else, I hold my son. That way, I am ushered to be served first. Isn’t it wonderful to be a father?
- Un-invited guests. As a father make sure there are enough drinks and bites in the house to avoid embarrassment. Respectable guests can pop in to greet the baby uninvited, especially if they come from my community.
Simple accessories you should have as a father.
1. Good digital camera
Moments come and go, never to be reappear. Capture those memories.
I use Panasonic FS-62 (10 Mega pixels). I must say it gives me above average images. I like it and in future, I will stick with Panasonic for still images. Prior to buying Panasonic, I was using a 5 Megapixels Fuji digital camera. It was good at that time but not anymore.
A baby does a new and fascinating things every day. Captured moments will always create joy and fun whenever reviewed.
Ensure the batteries are always charged and the memory card has space. The camera should always be easily accessible wherever you are. The best place to put the camera is in the bag that carries the baby accessories. That way, you are sure it is always within reach.
I wish you can capture the first cry of your baby immediately after birth. It will remain memorable.
2. Diary
There are several appointments for the baby which must be honoured. A good diary will keep you on top of things. You will know whenever a vaccination or development check-up clinic is coming up.
Make sure to get an off day from duty or work to attend your baby’s developmental check-up. Never leave these check-ups to the maid or just the mother. Be there.
This is part 1 of 16 lessons I have learnt for being a father for 1 year. Look forward to part 2.
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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Thats a father talking!!! We are riding in the same boat. The only difference; matatu conductors here will never differentiate when am carrying a bag of yams and when am carrying my lovely daughter. To them, the difference is the same.
Sure Muiruri. I understand what you mean. The matatu conductors behave as if money is more important than life. I am dreaming for a day when they will realise it’s the people who pay the fare and treat them like customers.
That said, I think babies should get to their rightful place in the society; Little kings and queens.
Amazing!
You are welcome Faith. I thank God for offering a gift, ability and access to technology to help me write these articles.
You are very much welcome to write in my website if you want. God bless you.